Nostalgia

He didn’t read it. Any of it. All the letters laid in front of him and he didn’t dare touch one. It reminded him of the time when things were okay, better, easier, happier but it was nostalgic

He hated nostalgia. He always looked forward to making his future better, leaving behind the past. But he couldn’t this time. Because his past simply laid in front of his eyes.

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He wanted to forget everything. But he felt sad. Sad, because how inconsiderate he had become since he wanted to burn all the letters filled with love, sharing someone’s joy, tears, success, failure. Sharing someone’s life.

His hands trembled when he went to take the very last letter that arrived a week ago, that he didn’t have enough courage to read it.

When he opened the letter, he saw the picture of his 2 year old daughter, smiling innocently at the camera. Tears filled his eyes.

These were his stars. He couldn’t let them go neither he could keep them close. He tried, but it resulted in making him feel worse. He started feeling guilty again, for not being a part of her life when he could have.

That day he cried. He cried his heart out. He had nowhere to go and nowhere to stay. He felt alone. He knew life was turning up against him for doing the same with his love, his girlfriend.

He couldn’t keep it anymore. So he let them out, he let the tears out. Drowning himself deep into the ocean of regret so he find a cure on the sea bed.

~ Tanishka Chaudhary