How is it like to lose a devil but not lose love

~Neha Lekhak

you were nothing but the rude voices 
the clashing of swords and staves

you broke me so hard 
i had to vent it out 
played with my heart 
for you to curse me 
with every nook and corner
your will
would ever have to offer to me 


oh love
you should have believed me
when i had said,
"i am your little girl 
and you are
my favorite bonhomie"

i would forever hate to let you go 
i had tried with all my might 
but couldn't leave you alone 


as time savored my broken parts
my character had to take off
her unrelenting costume 
and unyielding face mask
the way you killed and shattered 
each of my nerves apart 


cried 
bloated
rebuked 
until i couldn't consume myself within 


the fierce and lawless that you were 
the fierce and lawless that you turned
(me into)


i created chances
for you to blow me out and leave me 
the only golden moments to go fleeting 


a compassion beyond pain
and only 
if i had an umbrella 
for my difficult moments 


the way you let me stand out in the cold 
darling, i would tell you,
"you are deficient in reading me
and oh so adequately!
you failed me yet again, and miserably so."