Intimitated

A person whom you didn’t even know existed suddenly becomes someone you would love to live for.


This happened to me by just getting a glimpse of her…


My parents were very happy, their son who longed for his earlier school a lot and often grumbled for having been forced to change his school was now very keen in attending his new school, but going to this new school wasn’t an interest, it was a necessity to me. The cute girl was the reason behind it. This cute girl’s name was Kritika, I got to know about this when our class teacher was making students attend the roll calls.
She called out the name ‘Kritika Verma’ and in return an elegant hand went up followed by a dulcet voice, ‘Present’.


‘Kritika’, I chanted the name in my head, my heart thudding aloud.


I would always try to find a place from where I would get a good view of her without her noticing. Does that sound pervert? The things she did to my heart when I gazed at her were strange yet I craved for more, I felt a mixture of extreme warmth, desire, pain and sadness.


A month passed and I kept suffering from this beautiful torment, I wanted to talk with her, hold her hands… but I could muster enough courage.


Then Aditya had an idea, I had told him about the feelings I had for the girl he had chosen for me after which he beamed, his idea was that I shouldn’t wait and should just walk to her confidently and tell her that I liked that.


A moronic idea indeed but didn’t I tell you that love makes the lovers blind?


I wasn’t convinced that his idea was great but I had no other choice I was in love, I was immature, I was devastated.


So, gathering up all the bravery I had in my 17 year old self, at the end of recess I approached her. Now, let me describe my pathetic state I was in upon approaching her, my heart was banging against my ribcage, my hands felt cold, my mouth felt dry, I felt short of breath.


‘Kritika’, I croaked out.


She swirled around to look at me, her hair swaying away and her face turning in my direction. She looked at me, I felt intimidated, I felt as if her stare was drilling through me.


‘Yes’, I watched this word escape from her lips.


I paniced, “I… I wanted… I wanted to say that I…”, I couldn’t speak after that, it hit me then that how moronic this idea was.


“Yes, what do you want to say”, she asked.


“Nothing. I just wanted to ask that you are in my class isn’t it”, I’m not good at improvising at all, I wanted to slap myself because the words sounded so silly.


“Yes, we are, you are Ayur, no?”


“Yes I am”, I felt elated for she knew my name!


“Anything else”, she asked.


“No, thank you though”, I said elated.


And that was it, she walked away and I exhaled out, I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath until now.


I felt hopeful for she knew my name but I also felt sad because I was an idiot, I had expected that this idea would work.


I went back to my class and found Aditya smiling wide. I went to him. His lips stretching wider he asked, “Did it work?”

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